Girl in leaves

Growing Pains

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on

By mosaic widow

Why is time alone important?
Why do we often dread it?

Because it acts as a mirror. When you remove the noises of distraction. Shut off the static. You only hear reflections of self.

To grow. To evolve.
You have to sit still in the silence of self.
The longer you have avoided it the more difficult it is.

However, thats where the greater the gift of growth is.

I’ve been hiding. Distracted. Exhausted by my own fears of failure and disappointed in myself for decisions I’ve made or not made. Where I should be. Who I should be with. Where am I in this widow journey?
Overwhelmed to the point I have shutdown.

Avoiding the quiet place of self.
Difficult reflections. Running from grief. Running from life after. I was physically forced to stop.

I’m in another growth stage. This one involves actual work. Not the happy planting or watering. It’s weeding and aeration. I don’t like it. I want the end result, not the work.
That’s not reality.

I had to be reminded that growth is not all sunshine, soft rain and pretty petals.

I’m in the thick of it.
See you all on the other side widows.

There’s work to be done. This time is for me. On me.

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